Teacher Me

Back in November, almost a year ago now, I quit my teaching job.

The school I was teaching at wasn’t a good fit for me… throw in a pandemic on top of the already chaotic environment…I chose to take a step back.

I took a break. A reset. And, this rest was so good for my soul.

During my time off, I did some small home projects. Started writing again. Traveled. Spent quality time with friends and family. Survived the lockdowns and quarantines. Got my kids academically motivated after the mess of virtual learning. Entered into a lot of mindfulness practice, cleansing of negativity, (both from my end and from others), and exercise. I applied for Harvard and took THE MOST amazing class.

This amazing class really took me on a journey I am so grateful for. I think it was the combination of a professor that took the time to talk to us individually throughout the semester and the fact that so many of my classmates where open and vulnerable. I learned a lot of reasons why people are not happy with their “self” and ways to identify “who we really are”. There is so much complexity to it. However, this idea of our identity–how we fit into groups vs how we are alone and how we label ourselves vs how the world sees us– is just so fascinating to me.

Yes. Many of us are victims of childhood trauma and social stigmas, resulting in developing very very very bad strategies to dealing with life and people. No bueno. But, that is not the end all be all of our story. It can take just a moment of self awareness, then maybe a moment of vulnerability to accept our “bad side”… which we all have…and…move towards self improving and self fulfillment. There is no reason why we have to be our same self yesterday today and forever.

As I did research for my class project, I did a deep dive into the debate of having multiple selves vs one self. I personally lean towards the belief that we have multiple selves that make up the general self. If our multiple selves are not united… there is conflict, unhappiness, and a lack of self fulfillment. There is so much complexity to that idea as well.

So, the point of that, was to tell you why I got my closest friends and family members to make a list of 10-20 adjectives that describe me… my selves.. my identities. It was pretty awesome to see. I embraced the negatives and positives from their perspectives AND many descriptors were the SAME.

Woman. Reserved. Anxious. Observant. Risky. Adventurous. Introvert AND extrovert. Clean freak. Hispanic. Ambitious. Foodie. Mother. Stubborn. Traveler. Friendly. Funny. Loyal, Extravagant, and…. just about everyone wrote something about education and teaching. (thank you all for participating, btw!)

During my (needed) time off from teaching, I most definitely recognized, I truly felt unfulfilled in my career identity! I personally love my teacher identity. I am freaking good at being a teacher… I “get” kids and I know how to inspire them.. to love MATH of all things! (Or, at least not to hate it as much)

Although I felt great in many other parts of my life or, “identities”… I didn’t feel right not being identified as a teacher…I missed the teacher me.

The “teacher me” decided after the class was done, that it needed fulfillment…at the RIGHT school.

I decided to step foot back in the teacher world by subbing again. I subbed at multiple schools in the area to feel out the vibe. However, there was one school I had my eye on.

I had an opportunity at this school a few years back, but, I held out on this school because it was so close to home. And, being the introvert ambivert that I am, I was trying to avoid seeing students in “my space”. I’m talking about, I couldn’t go ANYWHERE without seeing a student or parent. They’d even come to my house to say hi!

However, after feeling out the vibes of nearly every middle school in the area…I decided this wasn’t such a bad thing. I will learn to hide in my house (or buy a getaway house) and instacart EVERYTHING!

Long story short. Short story long…

I got a “random” call with an offer to teach 8th grade math at my dream school… while I was in Greece.

8th grade? Not sure this was my cup of tea… 6th grade has been my thing.… by far my favorite grade…but I figured I could NOT say no to my dream school! I actually really struggled with this decision.

About 2 months in now, and, I am happy to report, this school is still my dream school and I hope I NEVER leave 8th grade.

8th graders need a teacher who is just as weird and sarcastic as they are. Plus, teaching a high school math course weighs heavy on most of these kids. They WANT to do well. So far, so good teaching on the penthouse level here! I am in middle school heaven!!

Yes, I see my students at Trader Joe’s and on the streets of my neighborhood. I hear them screaming my name across parking lots at the local pizza joint! Yes. Teacher work is still HARD, specially right now. But you know what…. I am learning to embrace it all with contentment!

Every night, I come home happy and so very exhausted. Every night, I find so much fulfillment in my middle school math teacher identity again! Every night, I cherish … a purpose and a talent that I am honored to do and use….and that is what life is all about!

Cheers! To the journey of whatever brings your happiness.

2021 #YouDoYou