The winding road of 2024 was a melancholic voyage that left me in a state of constant apprehension to what negative event was right around the corner. It was dark. It was gloomy. It was depressing. 2024 took this enneagram 7 on a journey into the uncomfortable depths of the most unpleasant feelings we so despise.
Quick pause–Yes! There is a good ending. However, let me step away from the ‘happy insta reel feel’ for a quick minute…cause you know that is where I prefer to hang.
Imagine being rooted into a community since you were seven years old. I mean DEEPLY rooted. Everything revolved around this community- how you dress, how you talk, what your job is, what kind of house you buy, how you parent, how your relationships work, how you schedule activities. Your friends and your family are in it, and EVERYTHING matters when it comes to this community.
Also imagine, you are not really supposed to mingle with others outside of this community, but you do anyways because you need to BREATHE and be yourself every now and then. And these people you escape to-you think they are your people. Your rocks.
Then imagine you lose the foundations of ALL of the above.
Community -GONE.
Rocks-GONE
You step away from the culty community of 34 years. You turn to your rocks, but come to find out, most of them are just pebbles that have been shattered to pieces once you show your vulnerability. You are left alone, wondering, untrusting, angry, confused, and depressed.
This is how 2024 began for me.
My story about a religious cult my family left at the end of 2023 didn’t seem like a big deal to me at first. Honestly, leaving gave instant relief. However, as the year went on and dealing with family and acquaintances still in the high control group, the relief morphed into a plethora of other feelings. I began to interrogate every person, every thought and every action…because why wouldn’t you after your life has been turned upside down.
I started to understand, I was a 41 year old woman who never lived life fully. I was a 41 year old PASSIONATE woman who was told most of her life to suppress that passion…and I had to learn to live life new again.
So there I was in January of 2024, getting my ears pierced at 41 feeling 8904 different feelings.
I was so excited! Also, so scared! My thoughts were running a million miles a minute!
“Is it going to hurt? Am I am wimp? I can’t believe I wasn’t allowed to wear earrings for 34 years! Where do I even buy earrings? What is my style? Diamonds? Pearls? I wish someone was here with me! Nope, I am doing this ALONE! I can’t believe I allowed this community to control me like that? I am going to be so judged from family for doing this! Did I judge people for having ears pierced? I should block everyone off of instagram! Why should I care what they think!? What they see? I can’t wait to pick out new accessories that reflect who I am!”
Thus began the year of transformation.
The year of taking little tiny steps towards bigger steps that altered not only my appearance but also my character and my essence. Of course, all along the way I was having the 392478 thoughts and feelings running through my head.
If that wasn’t heavy enough, we came into 2024 healing from a death in the family. I had a health scare along the way that rocked my world. And did I mention I am raising 3 teenagers?
It was a long year. What helped?
Lots and lots and lots of therapy, some big ticket events for distraction, and being super vulnerable with people which led to real connections and weeded out the ones that were unauthentic. Also, celebrating Christmas the real way… that helps a million times over!
So that brings us here. To the year 2025 where it feels good to sit and make some genuine resolutions. This time, not influenced by my old community, but resolving because I want to by my own accord and I can choose who I want to do it with.
For 34 years I have suppressed a lot of my passions for the sake of the community. There is anger frustration and sadness from that. Nevertheless, as I become more aligned to who I am, those feelings diminish and make room for so much gratefulness. As angry as I have been for allowing such small minded people to control my life…I am incredibly grateful for the life I have now and the opportunity to be free and do things as simple as celebrate Christmas with Christmas trees. To be me, and do all the things, passionately.
(Celebrating Christmas with decorations was a huge NO NO in the cult. It was frowned upon to stand out at all. More on this in a different post)
As we packed away the Christmas decorations a few days ago, there were remnants of glitter sparkling on my living room floor. It brought joy to my heart to think of the memories we made as a family this year. A little glow, a little shine, a little sparkle in my heart. And just like that, my word for the 2025 came to me. Sparkle.
I did a years worth of work with words like integrity, peace, align, deconstruct, boundaries, purposeful. And those are all good things… things to keep working on. However, this year, I want to step away from too much seriousness and sprinkle the sparkle. My intrinsic playfulness, fun and entertaining nature needs to be let loose.
It is as simple as that. Make the memories I want to create what will bring joy later.
Back in November, almost a year ago now, I quit my teaching job.
The school I was teaching at wasn’t a good fit for me… throw in a pandemic on top of the already chaotic environment…I chose to take a step back.
Let’s be honest… I work for trips… to Panama 🇵🇦 😍🤣
I took a break. A reset. And, this rest was so good for my soul.
During my time off, I did some small home projects. Started writing again. Traveled. Spent quality time with friends and family. Survived the lockdowns and quarantines. Got my kids academically motivated after the mess of virtual learning. Entered into a lot of mindfulness practice, cleansing of negativity, (both from my end and from others), and exercise. I applied for Harvard and took THE MOST amazing class.
This amazing class really took me on a journey I am so grateful for. I think it was the combination of a professor that took the time to talk to us individually throughout the semester and the fact that so many of my classmates where open and vulnerable. I learned a lot of reasons why people are not happy with their “self” and ways to identify “who we really are”. There is so much complexity to it. However, this idea of our identity–how we fit into groups vs how we are alone and how we label ourselves vs how the world sees us– is just so fascinating to me.
Yes. Many of us are victims of childhood trauma and social stigmas, resulting in developing very very very bad strategies to dealing with life and people. No bueno. But, that is not the end all be all of our story. It can take just a moment of self awareness, then maybe a moment of vulnerability to accept our “bad side”… which we all have…and…move towards self improving and self fulfillment. There is no reason why we have to be our same self yesterday today and forever.
As I did research for my class project, I did a deep dive into the debate of having multiple selves vs one self. I personally lean towards the belief that we have multiple selves that make up the general self. If our multiple selves are not united… there is conflict, unhappiness, and a lack of self fulfillment. There is so much complexity to that idea as well.
So, the point of that, was to tell you why I got my closest friends and family members to make a list of 10-20 adjectives that describe me… my selves.. my identities. It was pretty awesome to see. I embraced the negatives and positives from their perspectives AND many descriptors were the SAME.
Woman. Reserved. Anxious. Observant. Risky. Adventurous. Introvert AND extrovert. Clean freak. Hispanic. Ambitious. Foodie. Mother. Stubborn. Traveler. Friendly. Funny. Loyal, Extravagant, and…. just about everyone wrote something about education and teaching. (thank you all for participating, btw!)
During my (needed) time off from teaching, I most definitely recognized, I truly felt unfulfilled in my career identity! I personally love my teacher identity. I am freaking good at being a teacher… I “get” kids and I know how to inspire them.. to love MATH of all things! (Or, at least not to hate it as much)
Although I felt great in many other parts of my life or, “identities”… I didn’t feel right not being identified as a teacher…I missed the teacher me.
Way back in 4th grade…. Teaching MATH
The “teacher me” decided after the class was done, that it needed fulfillment…at the RIGHT school.
I decided to step foot back in the teacher world by subbing again. I subbed at multiple schools in the area to feel out the vibe. However, there was one school I had my eye on.
I had an opportunity at this school a few years back, but, I held out on this school because it was so close to home. And, being the introvert ambivert that I am, I was trying to avoid seeing students in “my space”. I’m talking about, I couldn’t go ANYWHERE without seeing a student or parent. They’d even come to my house to say hi!
My kid at the dream school
However, after feeling out the vibes of nearly every middle school in the area…I decided this wasn’t such a bad thing. I will learn to hide in my house (or buy a getaway house) and instacart EVERYTHING!
Long story short. Short story long…
I got a “random” call with an offer to teach 8th grade math at my dream school… while I was in Greece.
8th grade? Not sure this was my cup of tea… 6th grade has been my thing.… by far my favorite grade…but I figured I could NOT say no to my dream school! I actually really struggled with this decision.
About 2 months in now, and, I am happy to report, this school is still my dream school and I hope I NEVER leave 8th grade.
8th graders need a teacher who is just as weird and sarcastic as they are. Plus, teaching a high school math course weighs heavy on most of these kids. They WANT to do well. So far, so good teaching on the penthouse level here! I am in middle school heaven!!
Yes, I see my students at Trader Joe’s and on the streets of my neighborhood. I hear them screaming my name across parking lots at the local pizza joint! Yes. Teacher work is still HARD, specially right now. But you know what…. I am learning to embrace it all with contentment!
Every night, I come home happy and so very exhausted. Every night, I find so much fulfillment in my middle school math teacher identity again! Every night, I cherish … a purpose and a talent that I am honored to do and use….and that is what life is all about!
Cheers! To the journey of whatever brings your happiness.
It is true what they say about Leos, we are playful and we are fun. Throw in my Enneagram 7 personality, and you are in for a good time. Having fun, is just part of my make up.
I heard about a strategy to find out what your core values are and it came to NO surprise that FUN was a major one for me.
Imagine you are building a company on the moon… WHO are you bringing with you to make this company a success? Who- meaning what are the qualities you are looking for in these 3 people.
My immediate answer was:
You better have someone that is fun… the cheerleader! Someone enthusiastic and positive, who is gonna not only motivate the team, but also market your campaign like no one else. This person knows how to have a laugh.
Then there was the solution based “get err done” chick followed by the dig down all the rabbit holes researcher girl.
So, fun?
What does fun mean to you? Is it a value at all? As we get older, do we we forget how to have fun? Do we want fun people around us?
I sincerely ask this, because it seems there is so much negativity in the world. Everyone is waiting to get offended. Not just politically, but just people’s existence makes others angry. I also see, that if you choose not to be offended and a “Debbie downer”, but rather, you choose to be positive and fun… that is a sin in itself. Now more than ever, I feel like FUN is a bad thing.
Personally, I feel we need more fun. Fun in our work places, fun in our parenting, fun in our friendships, and fun in our “aloneness”.
This is what I’ve contemplated as I close out this wonderful decade known as THE THIRTIES.
I don’t think I realized what fun meant to me during my early part of the decade. I often focused on my values of loyalty, intelligence, creativity, etc… but lately I’ve really been embracing and expressing fun as an asset. I refuse to give into the miserableness of the world… no matter how bad it gets…I get to chose my own headlines.
There were many hard things to deal with in my 30s. The death of my grandparents was really hard on me. My oldest getting hit by a truck and the MANY surgeries that followed… I spent lots of nights crying. There were job complications, health issues, moves, accidents, and lets not forget COVID…but if I had to give a label to my 30s, it would be… you guessed it… FUN!
I don’t ever want to lose my laser focus I have on the plenty positives in my life. If I lose that focus.. then I will go FORCE the fun! I will never advocate for not embracing all your emotions, but we don’t have to sit with the ones that aren’t good for us.
I assume many new roller coaster events await in my 40s, but what will I do with those experiences? Will I allow them to make me hard and bitter?
I hope as I age, that my laugh gets crazier and I forget what it even means to be offended. I hope that I have more fun and seek fun people to be in my life.
So for me, fun is my biggest asset and a definite core value. Fun doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. Fun is just “an authentic expression of freedom, joy, and happiness!”
My hope is to spontaneously whistle the tune that comes to mind, snort laugh at myself and all the blunders I make, hug my friends (if Covid will ever let me) tighter than tight, jump higher even if it hurts my knees, eat every donut and embrace that extra weight of happiness… or better yet invent a really good gluten-free donut.
I hope fun, gets more fun with age!
Fun can be found in something as simple as a good book, singing in the car with my kids, sitting in silence next to a friend (preferably at a spa-ahem- Cathy) a long nature walk, or eating Mexican alone.
If push comes to shove and we gotta force that fun, I know for a fact that fun can be found with a plane ticket to Panama…anytime.
Thank you sweet friends for the fun you have provided and shared with me these years, not just my birthday. I plan to make the last year of my 30s the FUNNEST one yet!
I am a sensitive one. Some say, I am fragile. Others, call me the princess and the pea.
It’s weird. I haven’t always been this way.
Growing up, I was consistently breaking things, clumsily stumbling around with my long giraffe legs, and unintentionally, I assure you, physically hurting everyone near.
Me? I was always fine. Like a steady cinderblock.
I have this memory of jumping waves at the beach with my mom. You all know I love to jump…
But this particular jump got me over the waves right up into my mom’s chin…knocking her to unhappy. That was the end of that well intentioned joyful jumping moment. I didn’t feel a thing, but poor mom sho did.
My dad used to joke around that anyone would know where I had been because my finger prints left an actual indention into door knobs, handles, and utensils. For some reason, that made me proud as a child. My family couldn’t have nice things… because of me. So proud.
Flippant, young, and dumb. This girl, never took a vitamin (those nasty Flinstones were left to sog away in a toilet somewhere). I avoided sun block at all costs, because what 8 year old has TIME for that!? And let me tell ya, no one pulled a better Mexican stand off when it came to me and eating…I could sit at the dinner table NOT eating my vegetables for hours…I was the worst, ever.
I’m not sure when the full transition occurred, but, I know that these days, an innocent fleck of dust fluttering onto my shoulder hurts me. I’ll hazard the guess that it all began when I became pregnant. Remember the, “is it a kick or is it a contraction” conundrum? You just become more self aware.
Today, I freak out when I forget to take my vitamin supplements. I count my vegetable servings. I have sunblock stashed in all purses and cars. I have journals for my feelings and apps for physical ailments. It’s fun getting old.
I’m not going to say I am less clumsy… maybe a little less… but I am extremely more careful in avoiding pain and I am ridiculously obsessive over self healing.
So…I thought I would gather my “fountain of youth” self healing tips. Seems like I am always traveling to or traveling back from one of these healing places. It’s the only travel I’ve had lately- and it makes me happy -that is all that matters. These are my steady and true favorite obsessions.
Acupuncture
About a year ago, I drove my Jeep into a light pole. Told ya, I am not less clumsy. I literally pressed the gas and drove right into a Harris Teeter parking lot light pole. In a complete brain fog, my only excuse was, I didn’t see the (bright yellow) pole.
I cried. Jeep was in the shop for two months
The light pole is still there, misshapen and leaning left. It is a nice monument to pass by every day reminding me to stay humble. The day of the accident, I departed from the scene with bad whiplash and feeling like I had the IQ of an ant. Luckily, my parents reminded me of their magic man.
And. He is definitely a magician.
Acupuncture has changed my life and it is the one thing I could never give up. My acupuncturist healed my sore neck from driving into the pole with some needles, gua sha, and cupping. Within 24 hours, I was a brand new person. Since then, I have been going consistently every 3-4 weeks. Last week, I told him I was in this weird anxiety funk. I felt rushed and busy from everything opening up in this world (which is hard on an introvert). More gatherings, more people, sport schedules for three kids, not to mention, my oldest is starting his college journey.
Magic Man, stuck a series of 30-40 needles that put me into a fit of laughter. The energy that had been suppressed, was released soon as the needles were placed, and it flowed right through my laugh. I came out whistling and sleeping like a baby.
I know…looks horrible… but the healing is amazing!!!
Healing Crystals
Ok. I know this one is weird but I’ve got a bestie who is ALL into the healing crystals with me. MAYBE…this self healing tip is a huge thing for me partly due to the fact that I get to spend time with my bestie who encourages positive vibes in our thoughts and actions… but either way, we witches, together, we are brewing our oils and cleaning our crystals… it’s working for us.
Cathy and I have been really practicing mindfulness all year. We both randomly and individually took a chakras test that got us interested in balancing our chakras through crystals, oils, and meditation. We debated if we were just hippies or sorceresses. We took a trip to Raleigh and stopped at a place called… Dancing Moon Books and Gifts…look at our collection.
Mindful soul box subscriptions make me happy 😊
Maybe it’s crazy, but here are my reasons for why I like it.
One… I believe that a token, like a crystal bracelet, is a good reminder to check my brain and heart. Maybe a little placebo effect in there.
Two… Some people give you bad energy or take your good energy away. Some people are attracted to bad energy. You know, misery loves company. You can just feel it. My mission is to maintain my attraction to all goodness, love, and laughter… and keep it… whereever it comes from.
Yoga
Before Covid, I was regularly attending a hot yoga studio in Raleigh. I decided to go far far away where I didn’t know anyone (because that’s what introverts do). On top of that, dealing with SADs ain’t no joke. In the winter, when the sun don’t everrr come out, people like me, seek any heat source possible. 110 degrees is my kind of weather.
I’ve finally returned now that the pandemic is easing up. I’m back to the place where NOBODY knows my name (kinda) and it never felt so good. For the first time in my yoga practice, I am finally listening to my breath and quieting my mind. Those stretches feel so good to my knees… the knees that will need surgery one day. Probably because I jumped too much in my life time. And when those knees were young, those knobby knees… bumped into everything. They need a lot of hot yoga love.
Not known is blissful
Hot yoga completely detoxes me and resets my body and mind. I love it. I love a sweat. I love the heat. I love the core work out. I love the loud music. I’d love for you to try it…Just don’t come to MY studio.
IV Therapy
About 8- 9 years ago I was trying to understand why I felt so lethargic and anxious. I researched a lot and asked a lot of questions. My primary doctor gave me a “prescription for coffee”! Coming from a good place, she jokingly told me, “Girrrl, you’re a busy woman, drink more coffee or I can give you some anti anxiety meds!” I laughed, but it didn’t seem right. There was something else!! Long story short, I discovered I had silly SADs, and I found a place that heals using a hybrid of natural and traditional ways.
This IV is hit or miss for people. I think it’s miss if you don’t really need it. Me… I need it. My blood panel revealed that my levels were really low and getting this extra boost gives me the energy I need… specially during the cold winter months.
Drunk off magnesium and vitamin c! My daughter got the athlete IV recovery from all her gym fun!
Next month, Cathy and I are traveling to NYC to partake in a chakra crystal healing spa. The spa offers everything from acupuncture to salt rooms. I’ve looked into maybe adding a yoga class in there as well and combining all of my healing obsessions into one weekend. I should come out brand new, right?! We are so excited to get the good vibes going and share this experience with you soon!
Me, not making my son wear gloves because of the flu (several years back).
Eating Mexican food is my all time favorite hobby. I vehemently live by the cliche that tacos make everything better. Everything. There is not a dang thing tacos have not solved in my life.
I don’t remember exactly what day of the week it was, but there I was… eating Mexican food. Dipping the chips in the salsa and queso when my server, serves me my meal with big bright blue gloves. His little blue rubber thumb kinda touches the side of rice. I instantly flick the rice onto the floor (Did you expect anything less?). The server asks, “Does everything look good?”
With cheese dip dripping down my face, I forced a smile to reveal my satisfaction. “I am soooo good!” (I mean, I am eating Mexican food, I’m definitely good)
He waddled off with his big bright blue gloves to take (dirty) plates away from the the table next to me. And… something about that wasn’t right.
A few bites later, with his big blue gloves… here he shows up to pour me more water. As I always do, I said, “no thanks”, because the tip of the water pitcher has probably touched the tip of someone else’s glass. I, somewhat rudely, told him… “I’m good, I really am alll good!” My face definitely told him, “PLEASE, leave me alone!”
Off with the big bright blue gloves he went, and not 3 minutes later, he came back to take away my salsa platter.
Excuse me? Salsa is an ongoing event. No need to take away the half full salsa platter. So, I said again…”Listen, I am really good, I am going to use that salsa!”
Two more times this man checked in on me and I think I may have had the first Mexican meal that I did not enjoy. That meal made me realize, there are some things we immediately have to stop normalizing before we all get vaccinated and get back to “normal!”
A few tips…
Let’s NOT normalize glove wearing.
Wearing gloves to pick up dirty plates and then serving my fresh food with the SAME gloves on… let’s think about that. Good ‘ol fashion hand cleaning, really really works!
Wearing gloves while pumping gas, and then taking off the gloves and NOT washing hands isn’t helping. You literally just touched the dirty gloves as you took them off. Germs all over your hands. All over. Come on.
Wearing gloves in a grocery store and then touching your face with those gloves is like not wearing gloves, and touching your face.
Let’s normalize NOT checking in on me and removing my plate while I am eating.
Don’t touch my plates.
First of all, I don’t want to chit chat during my meal. I have no desire to talk to you with a mouth full of food. I LOVE eating by myself. I am not lonely. I am needing alone time with my food.
Second, I want to finish my meal. I may slow down, but that doesn’t mean you can swipe my plate away. OR MY SALSA! Saying, “take your time”, but asking me 549 times if I am done is giving me anxiety! (Note, I don’t overstay my time)
Second and a half… don’t take my plate to the back to box the left overs up. I got this.
Third, the more you check on me, the riskier it gets with you know… spreading stuff. Let’s get a thumbs up/thumbs down system going or a buzzer like on airplanes/hospitals. We will let you know if we need something.
Fourth, we use straws… so we don’t contaminate ourselves with pitcher to glass germs! Don’t let the pitcher touch the straw either!
Let’s normalize paper towels in bathrooms.
Hand dryers are blowing all the germs. EVERYWHERE.
And that piece hanging down, is just collecting who knows what. Be aware.
Let’s normalize colonoscopy selfies.
I think what would be way more entertaining than vaccine selfies and hash tagging “science”… is if we normalize colonoscopy selfies. You gotta hashtag “science stinks sometimes”…
Anywho. For those who care or not… or are otherwise judging… I am fully vaccinated and ready to party!! That is if the microchip in my head, completely controlled by the government and inserted by the second dose, will allow me to!
Come one! You gotta have some fun!
First dose: I wanted to throw my arm away. Slight headache.Second dose: 4 hours of pure misery and horrible night sweats. Makes me glad I didn’t have 14 days of it!
With some prompting from my psych class and some prompting from the pandemic, I have enjoyed reading the following books for supplementary “self help” knowledge. The hope is that some day, I can reference them to clients. I am relatively new to this genre. Either way, I’ve enjoyed these readings for myself as well!
Moody Bees: If you are at all into looking to more natural ways to heal, this is the book for you. I am not against medicine at all. I am just a sensitive soul… in which a tiny Benadryl can knock me out for 48 hours. I tried SADs meds last winter (for a month and a half), and that knocked me out for 6 months. I am not kidding. I don’t have recollection of what happened those weird months. I know I gained almost 30 pounds and THOSE meds are not for ME. This book is great for cheering on women and embracing who we are even when others put negative labels on us. Favorite quote; “Women’s moods are a strength, not a weakness”. Like, duh! Right!? We are moody and it is ok to be moody. These moods are what allows us to detect things for survival. Girl power!
You Are A Bad Mama Jama: I am reading this one for the second time. The first time I read it, it was a few years back and the book became inspiration to continue working on my master’s. There were moments that I got discouraged and enjoyed the “just get it done” attitude this book preached. I won’t say that this book is the best ever.. it’s got some cheesy one liners and it doesn’t address deep issues of mental illness, but something about it is very encouraging. If you need motivation… Just go do it. Sometimes it’s simply hearing/reading those encouraging words to get us going. This time around, I am going for my doctorate and this book has got me motivated again!
The Law of Attraction: This book is super weird. Like freaky weird. Not going to lie. However, I am all about surrounding myself with positive people and positive experiences. And this book is about positive energy and thoughts. Think it. Feel it. Expose it. Share it. It is what you want to attract, that you will attract.
Make Your Bed (And Clean Your Sheets Often): This is my all time favorite speech, followed very closely by Allen Iverson’s “Practice” speech. I am so glad it is a book too! If I ever get in a funk, this speech makes me snap out of it immediately. Making my bed is alway something I’ve done. Maybe it’s my amazing military dad that taught me and I love that. I do remember being made fun of my neat freak self making my bed every day in college! For me, it’s just a simple, yet great way to start and end a day. Everything you need to know in life is in this speech (book).
Covering: A few weeks ago, I was asked to read an excerpt of this book for my psych class. I immediately became so wrapped into this man’s story. Initially, I thought I was reading about a man going through the process of finding his true identity, when it turned out he had many identities, some suppressed, achieved, and others foreclosed. It got me thinking about all MY identities. (Think, “social media identity” or “race identity”) I made a list of identifiers and then asked some people close to me to make a list of their own describing me. It was amazing to see words I never would have thought of for myself and other descriptors that matched my thinking! I adore how this man writes and ended up downloading the entire book. This book can be connected to any of us. Since the pandemic, we have all been impacted on the way we identify in some way. Great read!
The Science of Social Intelligence: So… Here’s the thing. We were not meant to be in fully engaged tribes/villages/groups made up of millions of people. Yet, here we are on social media interacting with too many dang people. It can become overwhelming and not good for our mental health. On top of that we’ve all been hit hard socially with the pandemic (and the politics). We can find our selves alone or needing REAL social interaction. Getting back out there is going to be hard on some of us. I thought it was a refreshing book and I have made my kids read it because social media is here to stay. (Encouraging them to take a “sm” break)
Pet peeves are alive and well and I feel the need to complain.
Starbucks Cups
Dear Starbucks Chief, I thought the pandemic would teach you. I cheered for you. I believed in you. I thought you’d change your ways. But, after visiting many different Starbucks stores, it is clear… ya’ll are nasty! So I have to call you out. Why in the H, E, Double Hockey Sticks, is it acceptable to deliver a drink with your sausage fingers wrapped around the top rim of my cup? That’s where I put my MOUTH, to sip. Did you know that? You realize, your window people are taking payments with them hands, wiping snots with them hands, and handling all kinds of other things with them hands? Seriously. Deliver the drink from the bottom. Whoever is placing tops on cups should not be touching anything else but drinks! In fact, there should be a top cup placer. I will do the job.You have no idea how amazing I’d be at this… just like I Love Lucy at the candy factory!
While we are on the subject of cup toppers… are we saving turtles? Or, nah? Every time I order my sippy cup drink, I am offered a straw to go with it.
Yes 👍🏾 No. 👎🏾
2. Do Not Disturb
Recently, for a gymnastics meet, I had to travel to VA beach. At check in, the lady stated all the important information from room number to restaurant openings. Towards the end of the transaction, she suddenly lowered her voice as if she was going to tell me a sad secret. So very solemnly, she revealed that because of the pandemic, house keeping would no longer be able to clean up my room during my stay.
Oh, the catastrophe! Can you imagine my anger!? (please, sense my sarcasm)
This same lady, then cheerfully asked to take my car keys so she could give them to the valet driver.
Um, excuse me. House keeping can’t go from room to room, but valet drivers can go car to car?? This is how this whole pandemic has been. No sense.
To describe the scene… the valet driver could barely keep his pants up. I could see his tighties. Yep. The wind was whipping so hard that it made his tiny rain coat fly all over the place, causing him to tear up and snot out… he couldn’t wipe his nose fast enough.
Obviously, if you know me, I declined. I would say I politely declined, but that would be a blantent lie. I tried to decline, politely, but my face always says it all. Even with a mask on, you can see it in my eyes-I was totally grossed out. My pretentious demeanor most definitely caused reactions of their own. I am sure they were thinking far worse things than, “Who does this woman wearing a puff coat, a fake Louis Vuitton school messenger bag (that didn’t fit my laptop, at all), and purple clown Uggs, think she is?”
The valet man came at me with, “You realize if you turn down valet, you will have to go find your own parking, possibly in the parking deck far away, which will be way more expensive, AND, you’ll have to WALK back in the COLD to the hotel??”
I think he thought he had me with the whole, “AND, you’ll have to WALK back in the COLD to the hotel” thing. Which was a good play! I’ll give it to him. I am certainly a wimp to the cold. But, that didn’t matter. I could’t fathom living with myself knowing that his white underwear with grayish tones, would touch my driver’s seat.
Let’s just say 2 blocks and an extra 5 bucks was totally worth the pain and specially not a big deal with this covid mess going around. Thank you, thank you very much.
As far as the house keeping is concerned, my mamá taught me right. You ALWAYS bring a travel pack of lysol and wipes. Never let strangers in your room, pandemic or not. Ain’t no reason you need someone making your bed and taking that germy pillow off the floor just to put it back on your bed. The Do Not Disturb sign goes on for the entire duration of the trip.
Expert tip: Throw it all away after your trip. You think I’m joking. I am not. Throw it away. Burn it.
Travel Ninja out. Trying not to be disturbed.
Never let your face touch the pillow. Hoodie on tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Dress the part. Disturbing on every level. 😂
Hi! It’s February and I am still going strong with my New Year’s skin resolution. Yay, me!
My daughter and youngest son joined me in my skin self care today! They are such good sports and we had a blast! My daughter is epically better at this skin care thing than me and has taught me a ton. I love how she researches products that are good for her. Wish I was that dedicated when I was her age!
My skin issues are hyperpigmentation and sensitivity responses. I’ve tried washes and exfoliates that cake on and are hard to scrub off. Some washes dry out my skin. Others, leave residue. Too much moisture makes me break out. Then there is the issue of that one summer that I had a dose of antibiotics and went in the sun without the block…a case of the regrets followed when it resulted in a hyperpigmented mustache and random dark spotting. I’ve tried a lot of stuff over the years and will continue to try more during this skin journey. Please send me your favorites at any time! Right now, I’m on a Youth to the People kick. It’s at a good price point for me and I love the glass containers! No plastic and cruelty free! Here’s what’s up!
Wash: Kale Green Tea Spinach Vitamins Wash Y2TP
Best wash I’ve ever ever ever used in my life. I’m talking squeaky clean, no drying out, it smells fantastical and it lathers and washes off perfectly! This one is a keeper for sure.
Best Superfood Cleanser. Can purchase direct online
Toners: Kombucha Toner by Y2TP and Even Tone Correcting Serum by Skin Better Science
I’ve been using the Skin Better Science Toner for about 4 months now. It’s a slow process with this product, but I do see improvements… mostly the texture, not pigment. The price is high so I’ll be using every last drop. We will see if it continues to do it’s job.
I bought this at Lorena and Luca Spa in Raleigh
The Kombucha Power toner is tingly and makes me feel like it’s working hard. It goes very well with the Superberry Hydrate Dream Mask. I am not totally in love with this toner yet. I could see trying others.
Vitamin C by Luzern
Another hefty price tag, but I am in love with its results. It’s not light like a lot of Vitamin C that makes me wonder if I’m just dropping water on my face. It’s thicker, but not heavy. I am hoping this is a fine lines preventative. My skin feels nourished and never dull after I use it.
Purchased at Canyon Ranch Spa in Vegas after one of my best facials
AprilSkin Peel
This Korean peel had me drooling. I’ve been watching the AprilSkin Instagram videos for a while, but, I didn’t know if it was worth it for my skin. I read it had a lot of alcohol in it so I was hesitant it might dry my skin out. My beauty queen friend, and greek goddess, may I add, bought it a few weeks ago, and loved it so much. I thought I’d give it a try. It is now my favorite addition to my self care…skin Sunday. It is not to be used everyday, but I wanna use it everyday because the peeling off is so addictive. It has calendula in it which aids in killing off bacteria and healing damaged skin. Once I peel, my skin is sooo smooth.
I bought this off Amazon because the shipping was faster
Gleamin Vitamin C Clay Mask
THIS is my absolute favorite product right now. Instantly, it brightened my skin and decreased my hyperpigmentation. This product has done more for my dark patches in a week than any other product. I’ve already ordered my next container. Love love love this!
I saw it on Instagram first. I purchased from Gleamin
Moisturizers: Superberry Hydrate Mask AND Adaptogen Soothe and Hydrate Mist both by Y2TP
The fact that my cleanser isn’t drying me up is a great sign. I only need a little moisturizer and I’m obsessed with these two, together. The Adaptogen contains ashwaganda and hyaluronic acid and it smells so good!
Laneige Lip Mask
Here is another Korean product that has helped my skin tremendously. Wearing masks everyday in this cold weather has dried my lips out. Thankfully, my high school bestie, also a beauty queen, gave me this recommendation. What I love about this product is it works immediately. I love the berry smell with no berry taste!
Purchased via Living in Yellow affiliate link
Light Therapy
I do not love this particular face light. It hurts when I wear it actually. However, the results are great when I use it consistently with my products. I have to sit in an awkward angle so it doesn’t hurt so bad. Consequently, I’m in the market for a more comfortable and convenient light therapy face mask! I do love how I can use all the lights… from hyperpigmentation to lymphatic drainage.
Foleto LED Face Mask Light Therapy purchased from Amazon
These are my favorite products right now! Self care Sunday was much needed after a very botched up hair appointment this week. At least my skin is clean and smooth. I gotta work on the mop next week!
Is it just me or was that the longest first week of the year ever!!?
Still feels 2020 ish
I am of the belief that if you’re not changing, then you’re accepting. That’s not necessarily either a good or bad thing. You make it what it is as it pertains to you. Acceptance and change are both great things and it is what drives me to love a good resolution.
Sure, 80 percent of resolutions dissolve by February and only a whopping 8 percent of people attain their resolutions by years end… but what I have accepted about myself, is that I love to attempt change. I win some and I lose some.
2021 New Year Resolutions
* Routinelytake care of my skin.
This resolution includes finding a regimen I love that will make me enjoy the commitment of applying a minimum of a 4 night a week routine. The hope is for every day use… but let’s be real. I need this skin routine to be doable during travel and not take 67 minutes to complete.
Just started using this kit and so far I’m loving it!
Let’s remember…USE SUNBLOCK EVERY DAY!!
I love me some water and in the past, the convenience of grabbing a plastic bottle encouraged my healthy H2O habits. I was always drinking water. I noticed however, all around our house laid unfinished plastic water bottles, mostly from the kids, but admittedly from me sometimes. Our family vowed to rid of the plastic bottle habit completely. We did it, but my water intake has suffered and I can see it all over my body’s rattle snake skin. More water for the skin this year!
Me at 3:00 today NOT reaching my water goal!
* Hormonal Overhaul. Let’s just say, the one day PMS vibe has turned to a pretty much everyday punk mood. I’m sure it’s partly due to world events but I still find a need to do something about it…
Social media has never been an issue of anxiety for me until recently. All the crazy news and everyone’s divisive posts kinda get me down now. I don’t care about Facebook one bit. Instagram is my jam tho. I love seeing travel and food pictures and enjoy seeing what my friends are up to. I like seeing JLo post about her new skin care line. Sebastian Maniscalco clips always make me laugh! Call me crazy, but I like to see others doing well and happy. Instagram has morphed into a more negative platform lately, specially from celebrities. Even positive posts have a ton of comments that can bring the happy clown down.
Seriously, you can’t even post that you paid it forward at the Starbucks line anymore. All of a sudden by doing that, you’re enabling “Bougie Betty” and you’re just WRONG… WRONG… because you should have done something BETTER for a more important charity. I get the sentiment, but dang… people are just doing the best they can during a pandemic.
I plan to unfollow every person, which thankfully does not generally consist of my friends, that posts something hateful in my point of view. This is not to be confused with unfollowing people I don’t agree with. I love the diversity and have dear friends on both sides and all sides of the spectrum. However, the posts lacking tact and filled with tearing another person down and telling them they are not enough or just plain wrong, is not for me. I will follow the person who is paying it forward to who might actually be “Bipolar Betty”…
…like and love. You do you, right!?
Also, I want to revamp my supplement intake. Right now it includes everything from CBD gummies to ashwagandha. I just want to organize my supplement intake into less pills, make sure I’m getting everything I need and nothing I don’t. This below is not conducive to travel.
Anything to keep calm, focused, and sleeping well!
* FoodieFuture
When I worked in Raleigh, I enjoyed going to my favorite pizza shop after work at least once a week. Then the pandemic hit, and maybe from watching too many Barstool Sports Pizza Reviews, I started getting take out pizza from different shops and comparing them. This year I would love to try more pizza shops in the Raleigh Cary area and then make a “best of” list. I would love to do this with friends!
Pizzeria Toro is 💯 (Durham- pre-pandemic)
My North Carolina Donut list needs to be freshened up as well. There are a few shops in the Charlotte area for me to try. I’d like to retry a few shops I haven’t been to in years as well!
Wilmington NC (The Donut Inn)
I love cooking and baking and the pandemic has lead the entire family into some amazing cooking competitions and discovering new recipes. This is something I want to continue doing!
* Travel Goals
Let’s tread lightly on this one. This year, I would like to see mountains and see beaches. I want to add a visit to a new spa and hit up a vineyard if possible. These trips can be anywhere in the world… but I understand the restrictions… I may just be discovering my backyard a little deeper!
My crazy hope is to get to Boston this year. I am taking a class from Harvard so it would be nice to use their library, get my student card, and maybe explore Boston a little. I foresee us staying in our beautiful state of NC quite a bit so a mountains and beach trip is definitely doable and it could lead us to scratching off some foodie goals and NC bucket list items like the Land of Oz, Jockey Ridge, and Mount Airy (little Mayberry). All with safety first.
Resolution- Nerding out in one of my favorite cities
We managed an amazing US road trip last year, so I think we can make another safe one happen again. I’d like to add states the kids have never been to. None the less, we will stay cautiously optimistic!
* Wear less black. My closet is color coded for my sanity. There is a hefty chunk of black clothes to the left and then a trickle of the rainbow down to the right. This comes from my music performance days and now pandemic days. All my yoga pants are black…but I am hoping colors brighten my mood a bit.
*Include Spanish in my everyday life. I just want to keep up with my Spanish a little better. I want to listen to more Spanish music, subscribe to Ted Talks en Español, and my phone still has Spanish settings on.
So there’s my list! Fun and so easy to give up on all of them by February! I think I’m off to a good start!
In a year that seems like all we did was disagree with one another (sometimes for the pure sake of disagreeing), I am glad we can all agree on at least ONE thing… 2020 was the most awkward year of our lives.
2020 brought some rough lessons and exposed who we are on the inside. Most of the time, it was ugly, but the fears presented…resulted in self reflection and a slower pace for many of our busy lives.
Pre 2020, I could already identify as a very fearful person. I have a long list of diverse fears. No matter my fears, I refused to be paralyzed by them. You keep living, right? Charge through. Look fear in the eye and beat it down. Keep having fun!
Well, 2020, The Year of Covid, increased our fears and literally immobilized us. What does that do to a person who fears being dormant and still? It can put you in an agonizing spot.
The fear that rules my life is the fear of being idle. I fear wasting my days and my years in monotony. I fear not challenging my mind and my body. I fear being still. And because of this fear, you will see me constantly in motion.
As 2020, The Year of Travel, came to a halt, my first reaction was that of disquietude. I am sure many of us felt this feeling as our lives started to cancel… one concert, one reservation, one event at a time. However, here I am, at the end of 2020 and I have never felt more comfortable with peaceful still moments. It is all about balance. Being still doesn’t mean laziness. It takes commitment, and it is a process, but I am very thankful for the growth this year. Even though there was so much I could not do this year, I learned to slow down and still have fun.
Each January, I award the new year a theme. Reflection at the end of each year helps name the following year.
The last few years, my bestie Cathy and I have dubbed themes together. 2019 was christened The Year of Revenge. We don’t quite remember why we named it that, but I think it was from our PTA President days. Being tired of the asinine “Nasty Grams” from anonymous PTA members, we concocted “revenge” replies. All in good fun, I promise.
On our flight to Panama this past January 2020, we decided it was The Year of Travel. We had so many big plans.
Although it wasn’t the jammed packed travel plans I expected, I still managed many (fun) small safe trips. The trips I had this year, brought me comfort and committed me to a quietness I often avoided. Some of my travels were in my back yard. I enjoyed exploring what my town had to offer and discovered many new parks. Other trips allowed me to enjoy time to journal, read, sit by myself, nature walk, keep simple schedules, focus on my health, and consider my relationships. I learned to eat healthier (except for the donut tour). I started to understand that I will disappoint some people based on my decisions and even though I hate that (like a lot a lot a lot) it’s more important to take care of me and my mental health.
What a perfectly imperfect year. Looking at all the pictures… it wasn’t what I planned, but so many amazing memories were made and it was a lot of fun! There is that saying, misery loves company… boy was there a lot of misery this year… but, cheers to not being a miserable guest for long!
Never forgetting fun, and the balance of the “quiet and busy” I learned in 2020, may 2021 be formally known as The Year of You Do You. I shall wear bold sparkly colors, fancy shoes, love those who are hard to love from a distance, and embrace fully those who are easy to love…and…
Go to Harvard to take psychology classes so I can get ANOTHER degree for the simple reason, that it makes me happy!
Today, I quit my job. Well…actually…I followed the proper steps detailed in the Wake County handbook and per the school “quitting” policy, I emailed a 30 days notice of my resignation on October 13th. I resigned 30 days ago, packed my classroom belongings 20 days ago, and I walked out of that school building like I quit TODAY. Peace signs in the air, wind blowing my hair…
Let’s back up a few months…
It would be a lie to say that my decision to step away from teaching was a flippant one. A closely knit couple, my heart and my brain, they tore away at each other thread by thread, because of so many contrasting reasons. For months, I wavered on what to do. However, as I continued down the dark journey of, “pandemic teaching”, more unreasonable demands began to pile upon my teaching duties. Slowly, my heart and my brain began to see eye to eye.
I only became a “real” teacher a year and a half ago. I am not saying that I didn’t have a lot to learn when it came to teaching, however, when you enter the profession at the old age that I am, and as a parent, you come in with life experience… somewhat of a common sense you could say. The teaching was never hard. It’s the politics behind teaching that is cowering.
For those of you who know me, yes, I taught music from my private music studio for over 10 years, but I considered my profession to be labeled as, entrepreneur first, and educator second. I loved those years of combining what I deemed the holy trinity of careers. Business Woman. Educator. Musician. Actively defying many peoples’ assumptions that humans can’t be good at business AND be artfully creative, AT THE SAME TIME, gave me a type of enjoyment that not much else could.
You see, my brain is wired for entrepreneurship. Maybe it’s because I come from a long line of business thinkers. No matter, I love being my own boss, not just because I can wear yoga pants whenever I want, but because it affords me my autonomy. It’s amazing to create something that defines you while people have access to it and are able to connect with it. My brain is constantly thinking of new ideas that could bring in money and reach a variety of people. For example, I am wondering if anyone wants to go in with me on this idea of “Drink Drones”… drinks delivered by drones! Can we get that going please? I am also talented in the sense that I am not afraid to put the time into learning ANYTHING. Believe me when I say this. Many years ago, I became determined to learn how to make the PERFECT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE. I tried all kinds of recipes and even read books on the science of butter. Just a short 3 weeks later, I created a chocolate chip cookie recipe that made me happy. All this to say, I don’t accept status quo. I have an incessant need to DO something, find solutions, and think outside of the box. Evidently, working for public education, not as your own boss, you are subject to doing a lot of things that don’t make sense. But you know what you do? You suck it up… yep, you suck up all the 98 thousand different curriculum changes, the inadequate lunch breaks, outright emotional abuses, the lack of working calculators, and you buy more stuff from your own pocket… because you do this job for the kids. You do this because your heart is wired to make a difference in America’s youth.
We have all heard, teaching is a profession of the heart. Whether your heart leans a little closer to your content matter or more towards the little hearts you’re teaching, educators know that they make a difference. Yeah…you know, when you’ve yelled at your kid on the way to school because they didn’t brush their teeth for the 78th time? Guess who is there greeting them and checking in on their emotional well being? The heart of a teacher. There are a million examples. Teachers are opening up worlds and creating effective learning environments every day and this….this “making a difference” is what led me to the profession.
Reflecting on my music teaching days, every few weeks, I would receive a phone call form a parent explaining the regrets of not learning how to play the piano as a child. Oh, how they were now committed that their little Francine would learn to play. Caveat. Francine hates the piano. In fact, Francine hates music. I kid you not, this was a regular call every two weeks. Parents would ask, “Do you think you could work with Francine?” And I would reply, “Do you not know Mrs. Nelson?” Subsequently, I would meet this shy or defiant child at my front door and waved them to sit by the piano while I assured the parent that if they gave me one month, Francine would be rocking it out at the piano. These challenges always reached my highest level of satisfaction. It was so evident that I had a way of sparking this passion for music that kids didn’t even know they had. With this amazing strength, I felt my calling to teach.
Jill of all trades, master of one.
Long story short, and short story long, I earned my masters in education, got licensed, and began teaching math and science at a magnet school in Raleigh. The connections I made with my students was the most fulfilling aspect of the job. Middle school teaching takes a unique kind of person and it is a unique kind of gratification received. I genuinely laughed all day long as we discussed unit rate problems like;
“If Mrs. Nelson has $30 and takis cost $1.32 a bag, how many bags could she buy?” …..
Francene would answer, “Hold up, Mrs. Nelson, you eat takis? How do you know about takis? Why would you spend all your money on takis?”
There were days I cried too, but every every single day, I came home knowing I had made a difference in my students’ lives. I made a difference in my students’ hearts.
Latina girls club
With out hesitation, my teaching super power is the innate ability I have to connect with children. It’s never something I had to learn, per say; I just give credit to my heart… I have always been a kid at heart. These vivid childhood recollections constantly swirl through my head and my heart has snatched its spirit with the tightest grasp. I remember being a child like it was yesterday. That’s my secret. So acknowledging that I would have to let go of this part of my life, this talent… it truly tugged at my heart strings.
…
Each day since July, I heard this phrase, “Not to put more on your plate…but here ya go.” And, each day since August I heard this ignorant retort, “Breathe, we can do hard things!” And, each day since September I heard this motivational piece, “Remember your “WHY”- we do this for the kids.” And, always, always, always blasted all over tweetersphere, “Teachers, remember to take care of yourselves.”
Umm, why are we using these expressions? Let’s be real for a minute. How about instead of “not to put more on your plate,” say the truth, “You better somehow magically pull out a bigger platter because we are gonna stack it up high as we can.” Breathe? That’s the solution? This is one of the ultimate dismissing responses and we need to stop using it. Teachers did not forget to breathe and we are genuinely DOING HARD THINGS… we are asking for the “doing of hard things” to slow down and it not be the constant. My “why” is to teach the kids, to love the kids, to grow the kids. My “why” is not strengthened by after school meetings where we sit and listen to the polarizing vent sessions between “Teacher A” who thinks the more she talks about her accomplishments, the more our “why” will be empowered. Then there is “Teacher B” who cries and brings the morale down at the mention of any change. With absolute certainty, after these cringe worthy meetings, all teachers want to do is take care of themselves. So we take our huge paychecks …oh wait, we get paid squat, so we go to sleep.
Admittedly, I am privileged enough that I was able to even consider quitting my job. I know this is not the case for so many. Undoubtedly, quitting my job, one that I love, will end up costing me. My heart hurts because of the loss of the meaningful relationships I have made with my students this year. It pains me to let go of those. However, there comes a point, that you ask yourself about your worth?
Is it worth neglecting my kids, letting them stay at home every day by themselves, so I can teach 137 other kids?
Is it worth the stress of the constant micromanaging change from the “district”?
Is it worth taking my weekends to grade assessments and create plans for 137 students?
Is it worth increasing my risk of getting Covid?
Simply put, the overwhelming feeling I received these past few months was that it is a badge of honor to sacrifice my family and our mental health, for the sake of the kids I teach and their parents. This is not ok.
Nope. This is not ok, for ME. My brain and my heart unanimously understand… This is not ok.
….
As my blog name suggests, I love to travel and traveling didn’t come easy in 2020. However, I got a chance to escape on my one week fall break from school in October. I found myself kayaking on the Colorado River in Arizona. In a rare moment of silence, I felt happiness that encompassed me in a way I had not felt in so long. Peace…Quiet… Fellow travelers will understand this humility that settles in your heart and reminds you how small you are in this big world. Floating out of the Emerald Cave, I was reminded of a little old lady I sat next to on a flight to Italy a couple years ago. She wore this massive emerald ring that became our opening talking piece. We talked a lot on that 7 hour flight. There was something that she said that I think about frequently…
She said, “You know what is amazing about life (about women)? We can reinvent ourselves whenever we want. We can redefine labels. Sometimes it takes travel, sometimes a bad experience, but ultimately, we can take charge of our lives. Take that radical left turn and surprise people, but whatever you do, be sure it makes you happy!”
And I believe this to be so true. These words, echoed in my heart as I decided that day, on the cool crisp Colorado River that it was time for me to take a massive left turn, away from teaching.
It was a trip away from my North Carolina home that allowed me to ask myself, “Do I like where I am right now. Literally? Figuratively?” This is what I love about traveling. It’s a brain check and a heart check. For me, it brings to life these lyrics, “Sometimes you don’t know where you’re from til you leave… and I’ve been searching for a place where I belong…and on my way, I heard my song.”
I heard my song.
Often, I remind my kids of this quote, ” You can have it all, but not at the same time.” It is ok to step back and take a break from something or even quit all together, so that something else in your life can shine. If you try and do it all at the same time, something will suffer. Your song will be out of tune. I realized that the past few months I have been so out of tune. I am so happy that are several things that are waiting to shine in my life… and one of those things is sharing my adventure through writing. I’m a little rusty, but I’ve got a plan and I hope you will follow… travel with me… Peace signs up, wind blowing my hair…
Travel Ninja 