Uncategorized – Travel Ninja

The Year of Transformation

Oh, the blessed year of 2024.

The winding road of 2024 was a melancholic voyage that left me in a state of constant apprehension to what negative event was right around the corner. It was dark. It was gloomy. It was depressing. 2024 took this enneagram 7 on a journey into the uncomfortable depths of the most unpleasant feelings we so despise.

Quick pause–Yes! There is a good ending. However, let me step away from the ‘happy insta reel feel’ for a quick minute…cause you know that is where I prefer to hang.

Imagine being rooted into a community since you were seven years old. I mean DEEPLY rooted. Everything revolved around this community- how you dress, how you talk, what your job is, what kind of house you buy, how you parent, how your relationships work, how you schedule activities. Your friends and your family are in it, and EVERYTHING matters when it comes to this community.

Also imagine, you are not really supposed to mingle with others outside of this community, but you do anyways because you need to BREATHE and be yourself every now and then. And these people you escape to-you think they are your people. Your rocks.

Then imagine you lose the foundations of ALL of the above.

Community -GONE.

Rocks-GONE

You step away from the culty community of 34 years. You turn to your rocks, but come to find out, most of them are just pebbles that have been shattered to pieces once you show your vulnerability. You are left alone, wondering, untrusting, angry, confused, and depressed.

This is how 2024 began for me.

My story about a religious cult my family left at the end of 2023 didn’t seem like a big deal to me at first. Honestly, leaving gave instant relief. However, as the year went on and dealing with family and acquaintances still in the high control group, the relief morphed into a plethora of other feelings. I began to interrogate every person, every thought and every action…because why wouldn’t you after your life has been turned upside down.

I started to understand, I was a 41 year old woman who never lived life fully. I was a 41 year old PASSIONATE woman who was told most of her life to suppress that passion…and I had to learn to live life new again.

So there I was in January of 2024, getting my ears pierced at 41 feeling 8904 different feelings.

I was so excited! Also, so scared! My thoughts were running a million miles a minute!

“Is it going to hurt? Am I am wimp? I can’t believe I wasn’t allowed to wear earrings for 34 years! Where do I even buy earrings? What is my style? Diamonds? Pearls? I wish someone was here with me! Nope, I am doing this ALONE! I can’t believe I allowed this community to control me like that? I am going to be so judged from family for doing this! Did I judge people for having ears pierced? I should block everyone off of instagram! Why should I care what they think!? What they see? I can’t wait to pick out new accessories that reflect who I am!”

Thus began the year of transformation.

The year of taking little tiny steps towards bigger steps that altered not only my appearance but also my character and my essence. Of course, all along the way I was having the 392478 thoughts and feelings running through my head.

If that wasn’t heavy enough, we came into 2024 healing from a death in the family. I had a health scare along the way that rocked my world. And did I mention I am raising 3 teenagers?

It was a long year. What helped?

Lots and lots and lots of therapy, some big ticket events for distraction, and being super vulnerable with people which led to real connections and weeded out the ones that were unauthentic. Also, celebrating Christmas the real way… that helps a million times over!

So that brings us here. To the year 2025 where it feels good to sit and make some genuine resolutions. This time, not influenced by my old community, but resolving because I want to by my own accord and I can choose who I want to do it with.

For 34 years I have suppressed a lot of my passions for the sake of the community. There is anger frustration and sadness from that. Nevertheless, as I become more aligned to who I am, those feelings diminish and make room for so much gratefulness. As angry as I have been for allowing such small minded people to control my life…I am incredibly grateful for the life I have now and the opportunity to be free and do things as simple as celebrate Christmas with Christmas trees. To be me, and do all the things, passionately.

(Celebrating Christmas with decorations was a huge NO NO in the cult. It was frowned upon to stand out at all. More on this in a different post)

As we packed away the Christmas decorations a few days ago, there were remnants of glitter sparkling on my living room floor. It brought joy to my heart to think of the memories we made as a family this year. A little glow, a little shine, a little sparkle in my heart. And just like that, my word for the 2025 came to me. Sparkle.

I did a years worth of work with words like integrity, peace, align, deconstruct, boundaries, purposeful. And those are all good things… things to keep working on. However, this year, I want to step away from too much seriousness and sprinkle the sparkle. My intrinsic playfulness, fun and entertaining nature needs to be let loose.

It is as simple as that. Make the memories I want to create what will bring joy later.

Write.Bake.Hike.Yoga.Research.Travel.Eat.Walk.

Laugh.Family.Friends.Read.Prank.Cook.Travel.

Travel.Travel.Travel.Travel 🙂

Altermapid

The word ALTERMAPID puts meaning to this sentiment I have had most of my adult life. It means the nagging feeling that one lives in the wrong place-wrong city, state, or country.

Long story short, I have been in Cary for far too long.

I will be the first to say that North Carolina is the most beautiful state in the USA. It’s true. We have the best weather because we get to experience ALL the seasons. AND. We have the most beautiful landscape-from ocean to mountains. As a foodie, shall I mention the NC BBQ, Krispy Kreme, Cheerwine, and Bojangles! Its an amazing place to be!

But this girl is made for jungle weather.

I am fortunate to teach at one of the best schools in NC and my kids attend those schools. However, my kids are getting older… so I am starting to see the empty nesting experience is upon me and I GOTTA START PLANNING MY ESCAPE!

After a ton of research… and not finding what I want in Panama… I got me a house in Costa Rica. I have named it “Chanti’s Shanty” and it is my sanctuary. I have made so many memories here in less than a year and look forward to making this more of a full time transition.

Chanti’s Shanty

I took one of my besties here in January. Family stayed here in February. Then for March spring break, we took some friends with us to experience the PuraVida! Our home is about 30 minutes from the airport and the moment you step foot on the Peninsula you are hit with nothing but relaxing vibes. I am always amazed what a long weekend in CR does for the mind and soul. This summer I plan to spend a month in CR to get a taste of “living in paradise”. Here are pics from our last trip.

Puttin On The Ritz

Sometimes there is nothing like escaping Cary for a little bit and… puttin on the Ritz… or packing your Lillie Pulitzer and yoga pants so you can spa on Amelia Island with friends.

November.

November has never really been my kinda month. Even tho it is the month of thankfulness, somehow, I habitually slip into blandness. BLAH!

There’s that awful time change in November. My walks get chillier in November. The sun goes to bed earlier in November. And. The season gets too “peopley” and stressful in November.

So. I escaped the November feeling and took a flight to Amelia Island. I am so so thankful for Florida. It never feels like November there!

Flying out, this gorgeous view of North Carolina reminded me…as much as I am always escaping it, I do love my home.

This particular weekend I was away, my school distract conveniently gave staff the Friday off to reflect … and boy, did I reflect. In all of Florida’s non November-ness, I reflected on all I have to be thankful for.

I have grown so much closer to friends and family this year and we have been amazingly tight knit! I have never loved what I am doing for a job more than I do today! I am healthy… all those therapy IVs, acupuncture, yoga sessions, vitamin elixers… are working! I may not be living in that so called warm tropical country ALL year long, but I am able to escape there and to other warm locations to rejuvenate… and to refresh my gratefulness.

Thankful people are happy people. This I know is true.

Happy Birthday to Me

What an amazing Leo season it has been.

It is true what they say about Leos, we are playful and we are fun. Throw in my Enneagram 7 personality, and you are in for a good time. Having fun, is just part of my make up.

I heard about a strategy to find out what your core values are and it came to NO surprise that FUN was a major one for me.

Imagine you are building a company on the moon… WHO are you bringing with you to make this company a success? Who- meaning what are the qualities you are looking for in these 3 people.

My immediate answer was:

You better have someone that is fun… the cheerleader! Someone enthusiastic and positive, who is gonna not only motivate the team, but also market your campaign like no one else. This person knows how to have a laugh.

Then there was the solution based “get err done” chick followed by the dig down all the rabbit holes researcher girl.

So, fun?

What does fun mean to you? Is it a value at all? As we get older, do we we forget how to have fun? Do we want fun people around us?

I sincerely ask this, because it seems there is so much negativity in the world. Everyone is waiting to get offended. Not just politically, but just people’s existence makes others angry. I also see, that if you choose not to be offended and a “Debbie downer”, but rather, you choose to be positive and fun… that is a sin in itself. Now more than ever, I feel like FUN is a bad thing.

Personally, I feel we need more fun. Fun in our work places, fun in our parenting, fun in our friendships, and fun in our “aloneness”.

This is what I’ve contemplated as I close out this wonderful decade known as THE THIRTIES.

I don’t think I realized what fun meant to me during my early part of the decade. I often focused on my values of loyalty, intelligence, creativity, etc… but lately I’ve really been embracing and expressing fun as an asset. I refuse to give into the miserableness of the world… no matter how bad it gets…I get to chose my own headlines.

There were many hard things to deal with in my 30s. The death of my grandparents was really hard on me. My oldest getting hit by a truck and the MANY surgeries that followed… I spent lots of nights crying. There were job complications, health issues, moves, accidents, and lets not forget COVID…but if I had to give a label to my 30s, it would be… you guessed it… FUN!

I don’t ever want to lose my laser focus I have on the plenty positives in my life. If I lose that focus.. then I will go FORCE the fun! I will never advocate for not embracing all your emotions, but we don’t have to sit with the ones that aren’t good for us.

I assume many new roller coaster events await in my 40s, but what will I do with those experiences? Will I allow them to make me hard and bitter?

I hope as I age, that my laugh gets crazier and I forget what it even means to be offended. I hope that I have more fun and seek fun people to be in my life.

So for me, fun is my biggest asset and a definite core value. Fun doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. Fun is just “an authentic expression of freedom, joy, and happiness!”

My hope is to spontaneously whistle the tune that comes to mind, snort laugh at myself and all the blunders I make, hug my friends (if Covid will ever let me) tighter than tight, jump higher even if it hurts my knees, eat every donut and embrace that extra weight of happiness… or better yet invent a really good gluten-free donut.

I hope fun, gets more fun with age!

Fun can be found in something as simple as a good book, singing in the car with my kids, sitting in silence next to a friend (preferably at a spa-ahem- Cathy) a long nature walk, or eating Mexican alone.

If push comes to shove and we gotta force that fun, I know for a fact that fun can be found with a plane ticket to Panama…anytime.

Thank you sweet friends for the fun you have provided and shared with me these years, not just my birthday. I plan to make the last year of my 30s the FUNNEST one yet!