My 9th sense was correct. Traveling to Panama during a pandemic is a scandal! We did make it safe and sound and we are finally settling in here on day 4. We hope you follow along on our scandalous adventure.
Scandals happen every single day. It’s my joy in life to await the scandals of the day. Will my ordinary Starbucks run just be a coffee stop…or will it result in someone reading the “drive thru” sign very literally and driving thru the drive thru window? Scandal, right?! True story. You see, to me, a scandal is any normal or ordinary event that turns, (sometimes suddenly) unordinary. The scandals fall on any side of the spectrum. It’s like being an innocent bystander to an unexpected unbelievable event. Sometimes however, I get a feeling that a scandal is right around the corner. And, that is how I felt about this Panama trip.
The summer trip to Panama reeked of scandal from the moment the thought was conceived back in February. Living in Panama for the summer meant the kids would miss out on seeing their friends, July 4th, driving practice, gymnastics, etc. However, they would get to experience Spanish classes, surf lessons, visit family, run on the black sand beaches, etc. Can you believe I had to convince the family of this idea? Absurd. The first scandal arrived in the form of, “let’s screw the whole world over” when the pandemic hit. Won’t even go there… let’s all agree that 2020 was just the biggest scandal of all. Skipping ahead, when the Panama border opened back up in October, I found myself without a job and three kids still in virtual academy school. THIS was the perfect time to gear up for “take two” of Panama living. As anyone would guess, traveling during a pandemic would not be for the weak. Enter travel ninja. You know when it comes to traveling…I’m just not that scared.
Some behind the scenes details:
Emotional Support Animal Scandal
The steps to get our 4 pound chihuahua on the plane was insane. Use this for reference if you plan on traveling internationally with your pet. Skip this part for boring doggy details. Overall it takes a lot more money and work than you might have thought…
Recent news, stated that emotional support animals had to be either a dog or cat. Check. No scandal there. That’s the easiest part. When you decide to take your pet, as you book your ticket, tell your airline about your (emotional) support animal. Your airline will have weight/carrier specific guidelines you must abide by. My biggest tip is to be very very very aware of the 30 day time line and all the small time lines in between. The following steps must be done no more than 30 days prior to your take off. First, you must get a health report from you local veterinary that cost about $80. We had to update rabies and some other Panama specific shots, costing us a few extra dollars. After your local vet completes that health form, the head honcho of vets in Washington DC needs to review, stamp, and sign her approval. During Covid, this process became an electronic step and can be done in a matter of a few days sent by your local vet to DC. After you get both vet signatures, you need to get the country approval; in our case, Panama. I made copies of all health forms and signatures and sent them to the Panama Consulate with a $30 check and a paid return envelope. It cost about $40 for both ways. I received the Panama Consulate certificate within a week. During the wait, I filled out the airline’s online emotional support forms. My mental health professional and the vet information was included. Also, a home quarantine form for your pet, not for you, is needed to bring a pet into Panama. That meant, no doggie daycare of “Banjerk”. This dog hates other dogs, because he has little man syndrome. So that wasn’t an issue. I filled this home quarantine form out with all the necessary information- but waited to send this through email, three days prior to travel, per their request. The emotional support forms were sent to my airline to get approved 10 days before my flight. Banjo received a registration approval number within 48 hours. When you think you have all the paper work done… nope… one more health certificate is needed for another $80 (to make sure nothing has changed with your pet in the last 15-20 days). I also decided he needed his talons clipped, because doesn’t everyone need a mani/pedi before a trip?This last health form is to have on hand at check in. At check in, be prepared with all your copies in a neatly organized folder and wait for your airline attendant to glance at it all for maybe .2 seconds. No big deal! Map out your doggy restroom stops at the airports and have some water on hand. Once you arrive in Panama, you will need to present your papers and your dog at customs. Once everything looks good you will pay $130 in CASH to pass through. I was tired and done at this point so this part is fuzzy. For some reason I owed $16 too… and I gladly gave it up as tip so we could finally walk out of the airport with a 4 pound dog that needed to lay a 4 pound turd. Congratulations! I made it through the emotional support animal scandal and if you don’t need Xanax after reading all that, you’re my hero. No. You can’t just walk on the plane with a dog. Who knew!?
Covid Testing Scandal
So, yeah, you need to get tested in order to fly internationally. When Gi got Covid back in October, I honestly thought the entire family would get it too. I know this is a controversial subject for many people and for many reasons. For me, I am a firm believer that everyone’s experience is different, so we can’t judge others based on our own experience. More importantly, don’t judge. Honestly, I hope I (or my family) never get Covid. I hope I don’t get the flu. I hope I don’t get a wart. Tis the world we live in that we don’t get all our hopes and dreams. When I saw my daughter get through it like a champ, surely because her age and she had no under lying issues, it started to feel nice to finally be over the fear of it all. I thought it would lift a huge burden if we all just got it. We did the responsible thing. Gi was isolated. We wore masks in the house. Cleaned like mad and…. no one else in the family got it. Therefore, we panicked for a month before our trip. Now we REALLY didn’t want to get it!
The clarity of when and if we were supposed to have a Covid test was blurry at best. After talking to at least 4 American Airline representatives for at least 4 hours, in which none of them could commit to an answer, we sorta kinda concluded that you don’t need a Covid test at all to board a plane to Panama. You do however need a test and its negative results within 48 hours of stepping foot into the country. So you have two options. One, you get the “Panama nose swipe” when you land at the airport…if you are positive, you have to quarantine in a random hotel until you clear up… if you are negative, be on your merry way. Choice two, is to get yourself an Antigen or PCR test AND negative result within 48 hours of landing from your own city… if you do this, you won’t have any issues. Choice two, right? No problem. But there was this tiny problem called Thanksgiving. Covid test results were taking 3-5 days. Thankfully with the help of some doctor friends, we were able to find a location in Wake Forest that gave us our PCR results in 7 hours. We later found out that Antigen tests were accepted as well. Long story short, nobody knows what is going on right now. Grateful for negative results, we took screen shots and made 89 copies of each document to have on hand.
The Travel Day of Scandal
We finally made it through the two major hoops. The night before travel, you can always find me anxiously scrub cleaning my house, packing, and unpacking. Then packing again. The OCD hits hard.
Travel Ninja, does NOT, I repeat, does NOT check bags. It is a solid rule that I pack light. I am a hands free traveler when at all possible. We all know the travel tips of wearing neutral colors, rolling them pieces in a zipblock baggie, investing in a pair of comfy flexible shoes, and buying little things needed at your destination. Done, done, done, and done. This time however, we had a few different variables. There was the month long time frame and the bringing of our emotional support pet. I struggled back and forth on whether we should check a bag. Do I bring Banjo’s hoity-toity Whole Food’s small breed dog food or just buy something I can find in Panama? We decided at the last minute to check a bag.
So of course, along with his dog food, we stuffed the bag with extra shoes, and made a late night Target run for full bottles of shampoo, sunblock, peroxide, and lotions to add to our checked bag. At this point, I said, “let’s just break all my travel rules”. We filled out our affidavit, printed out all our documents for Banjo, had 89 copies of our negative Covid tests and checked into American Airlines. A notification flashed up telling us to check in at the airport. All set.
4:30 am: We wake up to give Banjo 20mg of CBD treats. Banjo is running around the house in circles because he knows something is up.
4:45 am: I clean my hair last minute and start praying that I can use the bathroom BEFORE I get on the plane. Yep, I took a smooth move tea because there ain’t nothing like being backed up for 17 days straight from nervous nelly belly.
5:00 am: This was the time I was hoping to be at the airport, but I kept rechecking my bags because of OCD. I packed the bags with the passports…unpacked the bags with the passports..packed it back up…counted the cash 325 times…asked a million times, “Do we have the passports?”… We head to the airport.
5:15 am: Arrived at the airport. Wave goodbye to North Carolina and that cold morning.
5:18 am: The kids and I ask for help on where to go. There are tons of people in 7 different lines. The attendant asked, “Are you going Panama City, Florida or Panama City, Panama”. I explain we are traveling internationally and so we are sent to the line of 900 people.
5:20 am: The line has doubled behind us. 1800 people are standing in line.
5:40 am: We have not moved one iota of an inch and we start to get very worried. Boarding starts soon and the people in front of us are complaining so bad that their negative vibe starts rubbing off on us. Their bags were the size of Roman.
6:00 am: Wishes do come true. Smooth move worked.
6:20 am: Smooth move worked again.
6:31 am: There is one person standing in front of us before we get to the counter. We hear rumors of not being able to check our bag now because there wasn’t enough time. To be prepared, Roman started taking out all of our newly bought cosmetics and began throwing them out. The rumor is confirmed, as true, when we reached the counter. We were told that our party was the last one they could possibly help get to Panama for the day and asked if we wanted to reschedule our flight for tomorrow since no bags could be checked and we were running low on time! Um… NO!! Somehow, they allowed us to bring the bag with us as carry on if we threw all our liquids out. We obliged. I asked 340 times if our tickets said we were TSA because we had no time to go through the other line. Our attendant told Gi and Roman to run to the TSA line and get in line for me so we could get to the gate on time. I looked at my ticket and it said TSA, so we were off. RUNNING.
6:40 am: TSA line rejected just Gi. Her ticket didn’t stay TSA so they let the boys go through and made me and Gi go through the normal line. The line you have to take your shoes off. This grosses me out. The sole reason I am in the TSA program is so I don’t have take my shoes off. Eww to feet!
6:45 am: The security attendant grabbed Gi’s bag and threw it back at her and told her to take the laptop out.
*The security attendant yelled at me to take my laptop out of my bag.
*The security attendant threw Gi’s bag at her AGAIN and told her to take out the ipad.
*I apologized and told her our circumstances–that we were in the TSA line and they wouldn’t take Gi and we weren’t certain of all the rules. I assure you I was very sweet even with all our worry. Security lady did not care.
*Banjo is chilling out in his bag but then realizes that the bag in front of him has a cat in it. He starts barking like a nut. We are trying to cover his eyes but we are distracted by the yelling from security guard we shall name Bon Qui Qui. We are a hot hot mess.
6:55 am: Tyson is sweating bullets from carrying a now broken suitcase. Roman is cheering us on. Gi is crying. I have one shoe on and holding the other shoe under my pit with Banjo barely hanging on for dear life.
6:57 am: We made it to the gate and then they CHECK ALL OUR BAGS! After all that, they checked ALL our bags!
7:01 am: Me and the wee three are the last ones to step foot on the plane. We are breathing heavy but relieved. We get the stares from everyone.
7:02 am: The doors have shut, however there are two families seated in the wrong seats. OUR seats. 4 families have to move around so we can get our seats back. Banjo starts crying for thirst.
8:45 am: Smooth move really really wants to work.
9:10 am: Welcome to Miami!
9:20 am: Banjo turns his nose up to the emotional support pet rest stop. He is as snotty as a dog can get. He does not relieve himself. He is absolutely nervous and hates this place. Gi starts screaming because there is a flying roach. We are all terrified.
9:30 am: The kids and I have walked the entire terminal looking for a suitable breakfast. We find a Cuban bakery and wait in line for 20 minutes. The taste of real coffee makes me feel like we are close. Almost there. We can do this!
10:00 am: Smooth move works
10:05 am: I go to the duty free shop to purchase a travel whiskey and coke to take the travel scandal edge off. I am told I can’t carry a .001 oz bottle of whiskey around and that I would have to pick it up at my gate. If this was our morning, I don’t even know what it will be like in Panama, so I purchase two travel whiskies and plan to pick up at the gate. I find some chicken for Banjo to eat, but he refuses. He drank some water but you can tell he is highly uncomfortable.
10:20 am: We wait at the gate thrilled we have time to spare. We start to smile again.
11:30 am: Take off to Panama!
2:30 pm: Bienvenido a Panama!!
2:40 pm: We are greeted by Panamanians dressed in hazmat suits. It was quite a sight and I didn’t know if this was the theatrics of the culture or what. Regardless, I put my “city-girl-travel-ninja” attitude on and gave the kids their talking to, “You act like you know what’s going on, use your head, walk fast, stay close to me, and Roman… hide your blonde hair and look like a Panamanian!” The attendants asked us if we were staying in Panama for a while, and because we were, they directed us to terminal 2. This was a misstep. On our long walk, we passed the Panama Covid testing center and there were only 3 people in line.
2:45 pm: We realized our bags were going to terminal 1 and we were told the wrong thing.
2:50 pm: We pass the Covid testing center again and see 10 people were in line. We head to terminal 1 and Customs.
2:55 pm: The line for checking your Covid test results and affidavit wrap around a staircase. We stand in line for 10 minutes. We presented our passport with our Covid tests results. It was super easy!! Some people were turned away for not having the tests done in time.
3:05 pm: The Customs line is a 15 minute wait. They speak to us in Spanish and stamp our passports… the most wonderful sound in the world!
3:20 pm: Our “divide and conquer” tactic is in full play as we seek out our luggage. Roman has his bucket hat on hiding his blonde hair and blue eyes and is pulling luggage off the conveyer like a pro.
3:30 pm: Our baggage goes through the conveyer for custom checks. I have a casual conversation about how I am (was) a teacher and I’m bringing my kids to Panama to learn Spanish and see family. Banjo accidentally goes through the conveyer. A Panamanian Customs lady starts yelling, “perrito, perrito!”
3:35 pm: We meet with animal control to check on Banjo’s papers. There are some cute dogs (including a french bulldog). Banjo, our little jerk, starts barking incessantly, but thankfully tires out after 10 minutes. We pay our dollars and we get the heck out of there.
3:45 pm: My first step out of the airport feels amazing. I wave over to our scheduled pickup guide. He has a cooler of refreshments and Panamanian music playing. We finally made it! We drive through the city, the bridge, the mountains, the country….to the beach!
5:15 pm: The “Super 99” in Coronado is our first stop for some groceries. Before entering, we of course had to wear masks. There was a temperature check at the door with a spray of antibacterial to your hands. When stepping into the store they made us clean the bottoms of our shoes with a light antibacterial spray. YES! TO ALL THIS! We were absolutely beat and really had no business grocery shopping. The kids threw in some mangos and other fruits into our bag along with the sunblock and lotions. Essentials.
5:45 pm: Our driver was looking for a cell phone that kept ringing in our car. Turns out it was Banjo’s whimpering. CBD started wearing off.
6:00 pm: Rio Mar was in plain sight. We dropped our bags, ran to the beach. Took a photo.
6:15 pm: Sighing a sigh of greatest relief, we made it through a very long scandalous day! May our Panama living begin!
We all slept very well the last couple nights. For the next couple days, we have some settling in to do. One of the AC units isn’t working, so we are getting that fixed. We definitely need another trip to the grocery store. The kids have to set up their virtual school and get into a routine. Nothing seems like chore however. We are so thankful to be here and enjoying every minute of this Panama paradise.
Travel Ninja 