Felize Navidad

Feliz Navidad, from Panama.

Just a short 30 years ago, or so (heavy on the “or so”), my dad was stationed in this marvelous country of Panama. Little did my dad know, he would meet the Panamanian queen of his dreams and establish traditions for generations to come. There these two love birds were, speaking neither of each others’ languages, from two different backgrounds, and still, they managed to create the most generous and loving life for each other and others. Over the years, they have created some amazing memories and traditions for our family.

So, traditions.

We all have them. Sometimes we break them. Maybe we call our traditions, “routines”. Point being, we get comfy with how we do things and this year, every single one of us has had to get out of our comfort zone and do things differently, one way or the other.

I realize, “different” has definitely been the definition of bad for many, specially in 2020. However, “different” doesn’t necessarily HAVE to mean bad. And… this has been my reflection. Traditions can be changed. Traditions can be thrown out. Traditions can be added. Traditions should be meaningful.

Just because something has always been done one way for forever and a century, doesn’t mean it should always stay the same. This year, I have thought long and hard about what I do and how it impacts others. How can I make “different”, better? Personally, it goes for how I treat others, how I vote, who is in my inner circle, what I do for a living, what charities and movements I partake of, and the list goes on. I’m working on all those things…reexamining…some changing and others remaining. Today, I reflect a little on my “different” family traditions of the year.

I can really get stuck on a tradition. Don’t get me wrong, I love creating family traditions and memories, but sometimes I continue doing them for the pure sake of ritual! It might just be my OCD, but it’s a little bit of a, “it’s always been done this way” mentality.

One of my favorite fall traditions started when Tyson was 2 years old and I was 70 pounds pregnant with Gabrielle. My obsession at the time was baking. You could find me in the kitchen perfecting little treats such as caramel popcorn, s’mores, and apple cider. One October day, Tyson and I snuggled up together with all our snacks and watched the Wizard of Oz. I will never forget his reaction when he thought the wicked witch had finally trapped Dorothy. We got through that anxious movie moment and together created the “Wizard of Oz and Wicked Halloween Snacks” tradition. Each kid has thrown in their favorite snacks along the way and it is something I look forward to every year.

This year, it didn’t happen like I had planned! Admittedly, I cried a little. I have never missed a year of watching the Wizard of Oz. This was different. This was bad, right?

I soon realized, first, what a dumb problem to have…and… second, the kids were just doing this tradition for the sake of pleasing me. They hinted that they were over the whole Wizard of Oz theme but would totally be into the snacks! Dying inside, I provided the snacks, and I joined them in their Harry Potter Movie Marathon Mania instead. It was awesome. It finally dawned on me that the point of the tradition was just having a designated time to cuddle up my kids. Spending quality time with my wee three, was the most meaningful part of the tradition and ANY tradition. Different. But not bad.

Never taking for granted the fact that I am in Panama (for Christmas), I still felt sad about all the missed traditional events of the season that I usually partake of with my friends and family.

I miss giving you all hugs. I miss laughing and literally playing reindeer games. I miss the Christmas gift exchanges. I miss all the kids dressed up and matching. I miss seeing all of your Christmas cards. I even miss the big Christmas parties. I miss going out to the Christmas concerts. I miss the Christmas steak dinner (I am a vegetarian, but the kids can throw down on a Christmas steak). I miss Christmas ice skating. I miss not having to buy a gift online. I miss Christmas carols. I miss the sparkly holiday outfits. I miss creating gingerbread houses.

Sadly, it was a very different season with missing all of these traditional events…part for being in Panama, and other part because of Covid.

Yes. There has been a lot to miss out on this season, but what is important to appreciate, is what I have right now, right in front of me.

Our Christmas dinner was very different, but extraordinary; composed of my favorite traditional Panamanian arroz con pollo. We all giggled as we watched Christmas movies and many episodes of Friends in Spanish. The kids are feeling more comfortable talking in Spanish and mingling with locals and family. They rely on me to translate still, so that means they HAVE to hang out with me a lot! I may not be wearing a nice holiday dress with fancy shoes today, but, our many shades of tan prove there is a little Panamanian in us all.

We all knew it would be different this year, however, it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been special and that it has been bad. Again, remembering that I’m in the flaming 87 degree climate of Panama for Christmas, I know I am super lucky. I know there are those that are having a very different and bad holiday. My heart goes out to them and makes me grasp a little tighter to the every day things that should be in the forefront of my mind always- showing gratefulness in all things.

The time spent with the kids has been amazing. We’ve enjoyed the natural beauty that surrounds us from the white sand beaches of Buenaventura to the mountain top view from Cerro de la Cruz. Though different, Christmas has certainly been meaningful and filled with a lot of love.